Every
individual has their own definition for the term “family”. They typically look
at their own family to gather information and how to describe family. For my
cousin it’s a little bit more complicated than just saying that she has mom and
dad and three brothers. Because although that is her life now at the age of
seventeen in grade 11 in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada, that was not always
what her life was like.
You see at
the age of eight years old she was adopted by my aunt and uncle in a small town
in Ukraine. Although she was still young, she was old enough to remember what
life was like back then. When she was born she only had her mother as her
mother did not know who the father was. She was raised for three years by her
mom until she was deemed unfit to raise my cousin any longer. She then moved in
with her grandmother until her grandmother passed and was then put in an
adoption house at the age of seven.
Although my
aunt and uncle already had three sons of their own, while on a missions trip in
Ukraine they decided that they wanted to adopt a girl over the age six. They
learned that at the age of sixteen children are remove from the adoption house
and must learn to live on their own usually resulting in living on the street
and engaging in drug deals or prostitution to earn money. Their hearts hurt
when they learned about this and when they got back home from the mission trip
they began the lengthy application process to transnationally adopt a girl.
When they
were nearing the end of this now two-year process, they flew back to Ukraine to
meet their soon to be daughter. My cousin was now eight at this time and when
she found out that she was going to be adopted to a Canadian couple and have to
move to Canada she first put up a fight. Her mother was still living at the
time and my cousin desperately wanted to live with her. She did not know her mother
was addicted to drugs and alcohol and that moving to Canada would yes change her
life dramatically, but also for the better. When the wait was finally over, my
cousin, aunt and uncle flew back to Nova Scotia to begin this new life. Over
the past ten years my cousin has thrived academically and socially in Canada
while also keeping her Ukrainian language up by going to Ukrainian clubs.
While my
cousin had a very positive outcome, transnational adoption is sometimes frowned
upon. The convention on the rights of the child States that every child should
be cared for by their own parents whenever possible. However, in the world we
live in today, sadly that is not always feasible. In my cousins’ case her
mother could not care for her the way that she needed. Additionally, adoption
is sometimes looked down on because it is seen as child saving, reproductive
technology or a way to make money.
While
transnational adoptions sometimes carry the bad reputation, it can be broken
down quite simply. People who adopt are looking to be parents and want to love
a child and give them a home. I am not saying that some people out there have adopted
for the wrong reasons, but what bothers me is that when people bring all those
reasons up as to why people shouldn’t transnationally adopt, my mind
immediately goes to my cousin. I think about what her life could’ve been like
if my aunt and uncle didn’t adopt her. She is seventeen now which means she could’ve
potentially been living on the streets if she wasn’t adopted (Which is highly
likely since most people are looking to adopt a baby). At the time when she was
adopted she didn’t realize what this adoption meant to her. She didn’t call my
aunt mom for over a year since she knew her biological mom was still alive in
Ukraine. It wasn’t until she revisited Ukraine three years later that she truly
began to understand what her life could’ve been had my aunt and uncle not
adopted her. She now constantly speaks on social media about transnational
adoptions and how her life is changed for the better.
Transnational
adoptions help remove children from a negative and/or unsafe environment and
give them a chance to be provided with nurture and support for my family who
can care for them. So to say that transnational adoption should be reduced
makes me think about all the children that are in the same situation as my
cousin. There are so many families that want to give a child the love and
nurture they need. Transnational adoption has saved my cousin’s life it could
save many others as well. It isn’t just about the transaction of money it is so
much more.
